The worst thing I can imagine has happened, I have outlived my only child.
We had a tumultuous life but it always worked out, and we were not just mother and son, but friends, too.
He had end stage renal failure which came on suddenly in 2006 and he'd been on dialysis since, with many problems caused by extremely high blood pressure, and the other complications of having failed kidneys, which finally contributed to a weakened heart which just stopped.
He was only 35.
Last December, just before Christmas, he decided to move back to Florida, which was his heart-home, and though I hated to lose him, I'd so enjoyed having him near to talk, goof around ont he computer, listen to him talk of his plans and ideas, I knew he wasn't truly happy here in cold Connecticut so I didn't try too hard to change his mind, knowing that his illness may take him away from me at any time, but he needed to be happy.
A few years ago he came upon The Way of the Peaceful Warrior, a book by Dan Millman, which changed his life and added to his ultimate happiness. He read it and it rang a clear note in his spirit which made him a better person, able to even help others, something no one who knew him as a unpredictable teen would have ever suspected.
I must tell you all, whoever may read this that there is never enough time. Gather your loved ones and tell them, show them you love them and keep doing it, even if it means that they move away, because you will be helping them reach their happiness in life, and there is nothing better you can do!
My little boy grew into a wonderful man, a caring friend and loving father, and I'm so happy to have seen it happen, but I will miss him more than I can say.